It always bugged me that Elizabeth Barrett Browning's post never actually counted. So this is... well, okay, it's not a parody. A tribute?
lyrics
how do I love thee? let me count the ways!
well the first thing I should say is that I loved you straightaways
from the moment my eyes just happened to gaze
upon you standing there, kinda turned sideways
I can tell you: you made my eyebrows raise
well there's two ways.
how do I love thee? let me count the ways!
well the way it would play out, we often love from faraways
and on the days that I see you, we love in driveways
and sometimes hallways, and stairways, and goodnight in doorways
and outside, out-of-the-ways, under the sun's rays
that's six more ways
how do I love thee? let me count the ways!
I love you when we're runaways, escaping from this craze
driving down highways and hiding in alleyways
(oh) we've been stowaways and castaways, wand'ring on walkways and causeways
thisaways and thataways for days and days and days
well that's a bunch more ways
please forgive me because I lost count
thinking of you just set my heart ablaze
but I can tell you for sure, there's a huge amount
of ways
I love you
straightaways and sideways, from faraways, in driveways
in hallways, stairways, doorways, out-of-the-ways, and as runaways
on highways, in alleyways, as stowaways and castaways
on walkways and causeways, thisaways and thataways
how do I love thee? I counted seventeen ways!
but wait! I almost forgot the two most important ways:
I'll love you always, and I'll love you anyways
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