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The Mind I'm Lost Inside

by Maleidoscope

supported by
Malcolm Ocean
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Malcolm Ocean This is my own album, but I listen to it quite often, so I think it's totally fair to include it on my fan page :) Favorite track: That Phrase.
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Who Am I? 03:49
When I'm lost in thought, where am I? Am I the searcher or the one I'm trying to find? Have I lost my mind, or is it my mind I'm lost inside? If I can't find my feelings, does it mean they're trying to hide? When I find myself, in a fight, Am I the aggressor or the one I want to strike? Have I seen true hate, or has hate destroyed my sight? If I can't fight my feelings, does it mean that they're alright? When I wake up, roll over, and try to go back to sleep, Am I the counter, or am I the sheep? Have I let my get-up-and-go, get up and leave? Am I afraid of failing, or of what I might achieve? When I do something meaningless, have I truly wasted time? Am I the clock, or the hours passing by? Have I conquered time, or is it time that traps my mind? If I ignore my feelings, can I say that they're not mine? When you are standing, facing me, Am I the eyes or the one who is seen? When I'm trying so hard to look inside, will I miss what's in plain sight? Can I really see you, While I'm trying to see me too? Is that even possible to do? I can ask myself so many questions: who? what? when? where? why? But it all comes back to, it all comes back to, it all comes all comes back to: Who am I?
a grey and cloudy day... but everything's okay in fact, everything is great... no need to complain about fate I'm just laying in my bed... little song going through my head I look outside once again... and then it starts to rain but even the rain can't wash away my peace of mind even the rain can't wash away my peace of mind I'm gonna dance in the rain with all of humankind it's pouring rain, and I'm feeling just fine a couple being wed... everything is done and said they're starting the reception but then the sky just opens up and rather than trying to run and hide, they through everything down and run outside and start to dance, all expressing how, in the desert rain is a blessing so even the rain can't wash away my wedding day even the rain can't wash away my wedding day we're gonna dance in the rain, link arms and sway it's pouring rain... I've got nothing else to say [instrumental] even the rain can't wash away my joy even the rain can't wash away my joy gonna dance in the rain, yeah every girl and boy there's nothing real that weather can destroy even the rain can't wash away our joy even the rain can't wash away our joy we're gonna dance in the rain, whoa-whoa-whoa-o because even the rain can't wash away our joy [outro]
there's a girl over there, and she's giving me a stare do I have something funny in my hair? It should look fine - I showered, I swear but maybe I picked the wrong thing to wear this girl's kindof cute, she's got a certain flair I wish I'd taken longer to prepare I'd've liked to say hi, but now I don't dare and I try to tell myself that I don't care the next day my friend came up and said "why didn't you talk to that girl last night? I know her, you're totally her kind of guy... you picked a terrible night to act all shy" I said "I was far too nervous to try" he said "couldn't you see it in her eye? she was crushing on you, thought you looked real' fly and you couldn't even go and say 'hi'?" Oh. chorus: She's got a crush on me, she's got a crush on me why on earth could I not see? she was crushin so obviously but somehow it escaped me that she's got a crush on me I'm not being egotistic - I'm just trying to be realistic I've gotta stop being so oblivious, when her feelings are so obvious It's clear I'm at least somewhat appealing... now I just have to start catching on to these feelings but from now on I vow that when I sense some attraction - I will take some kind of action! [chorus] so I've been spending a bunch of time with a girl who I thought was pretty fine but our friendship was simple, no pick-up lines I was hardly expecting the stars to align but then on the day we said goodbye I could see something in the look in her eye that said "I really sorta like you, I was just too shy" and I'm thinking "man why couldn't we have realized this weeks ago when we still had time to hang out and get close and stuff?" but in the end I don't say that actually I don't say anything at all, I just SIGH [chorus]
how do I love thee? let me count the ways! well the first thing I should say is that I loved you straightaways from the moment my eyes just happened to gaze upon you standing there, kinda turned sideways I can tell you: you made my eyebrows raise well there's two ways. how do I love thee? let me count the ways! well the way it would play out, we often love from faraways and on the days that I see you, we love in driveways and sometimes hallways, and stairways, and goodnight in doorways and outside, out-of-the-ways, under the sun's rays that's six more ways how do I love thee? let me count the ways! I love you when we're runaways, escaping from this craze driving down highways and hiding in alleyways (oh) we've been stowaways and castaways, wand'ring on walkways and causeways thisaways and thataways for days and days and days well that's a bunch more ways please forgive me because I lost count thinking of you just set my heart ablaze but I can tell you for sure, there's a huge amount of ways I love you straightaways and sideways, from faraways, in driveways in hallways, stairways, doorways, out-of-the-ways, and as runaways on highways, in alleyways, as stowaways and castaways on walkways and causeways, thisaways and thataways how do I love thee? I counted seventeen ways! but wait! I almost forgot the two most important ways: I'll love you always, and I'll love you anyways
That Phrase 02:48
I quit, but I got no withdrawal The bank said that I had "Insufficient Funds" So that's it, I'm on my own from now on Nothing to give - just trying to live with sufficient fun Well it's not that hard But hey, it's not that easy Just gotta start I awake, but sometimes, hey, I sleep in so mid-afternoon, I feel kinda doomed, 'cause the day's half gone I wonder—will it take, immense determination to get to a state, where I'm never late, and I always know what's going on? Well it's not that hard but it's not that easy just gotta start... [chorus:] 'Cause you know that phrase "easier said than done" Doesn't have to apply to everyone If I decide that I like action instead of just conversation And spend my days getting fun things done and proudly say to everyone, "I get satisfaction from my life and I've only just begun." [instrumental] I try, but still sometimes I mess up Still I know success, comes right after mess, if I can learn from it all I fly, but only in the most figurative sense so why be all scared, if I'm unprepared, and I start to fall... 'cause the ground is not that hard But hey it's not that easy Just gotta start... [chorus]
I'm still thinking en français Il est très difficile to say what I want to say Yet here I am, with a pen... sur le feuille de papier, je vais le mettre Parce que je veux t'écrire a bilingual letter Bienvenue à ma vie [4x] Je ne sais pas how you knew me Je ne comprends pas much of what you say to me But our bodies speak one tongue, quand nous dansons And our voices sounds so beautiful dans les chansons Welcome to my life, make yourself at home You were what I was looking for - how could I have known? Welcome to my life, please stay awhile You'll notice I prefer not to walk single file We don't have to have, just yet, un projet spécifique Parce que nous les deux connaissons that this is so unique Quand nous danserons prochain, I do not know But I wasn't lying when I said "À bientôt!" Bienvenue à ma vie [4x] ...
I Like You 03:08
I like you... (I like you) I mean, I "like you", like you (Yes I do) I mean you're pretty cool (Yeah, you're cool) And I'd like to hang out with you (If that's what you're into) So I wrote this simple song (It only has two chords) to match my feelings (My feelings are pretty simple too) I thought I could share it with you (So here it is) to see if you sing it too (I like how you sing, when you do) ...because you always sing in tune I like you... (yeah I like you) I mean, I "like you", like you (like, I like you) I mean you're pretty cool (You're so pretty-- I mean cool) And I'd like to sing with you (la-dee-dee-da-dee-dee-da) But the way it feels (Oh this feeling I get) based on what's happened before (It's really hard to forget) I'm afraid you'll say no to me (Like all those other times) because you kinda don't know me (I mean, we're just acquaintances, really) ...(enough) to know if I'm who you want your someone to be I like you... (Oh yeah I like you) I mean, I "like you", like you (Like, I really like you, I do) I mean you're pretty cool (That means you're both pretty and you're cool) And I'd like to get to know you, then I'd show you (Oh... I'd show you) This could be fun (so much fun) Not in a complicated way (Like I said before, it's really quite simple) We could give this a chance (take a chance on me) come on get up, and dance (have a dance with me) ...to see if your hands feel right in my hands I like you... (I like you) I mean, I "like you", like you (like you, like you) And I'd like to ask you (So what do you say?) and if not that's okay too... (It's fine by me either way) ...do you like me?
Teleporter 02:22
If you were here, or I were there or really, both of us could be anywhere we could cloud-gaze, or star-gaze or just laze, or... anyway...(s) once I build a teleporter we can hang out any time no need to wait until our weekends align once I build a teleporter I can see you... I can see you... whenever I want to if you lived here, or I lived there the two of us would be quite a pair it would be bliss—we'd kiss and kiss instead of miss and reminisce once I build a teleporter we can hang out anywhere no need to wait for the other to get there once I build a teleporter I can see you... I can see you... wherever I want to if only we had known we'd be looking back reflectively we could return to when our passion first burned now that we've learned how things would turn... out! once I build a time machine we could meet for the first time, again and again it won't matter when once I build a time machine I could always catch up on time I missed being with you... being with you... whenever I want to
I have a general disregard for paths except when they get me where I wanna go fast otherwise, unless there's a sign, I'm totally fine with walking on grass no time to polish 'cause I'm always russian to finnish my next task I have a general disregard for geese except when I find their presents under my feet then I get to thinkin' 'bout how much they look like big fluffy golf balls on tees and I'd like to dropkick them but I think that would be kind of mean [whistling] I have a general disregard for time until I sense an approaching deadline but I don't need caffeine I find my adrenaline does me fine I just sit down and amp up and focus and unleash the power of my mind I'm easy-goin', and I'll go anywhere Sun, rain, or snowin' - well I don't care [this is a real trumpet, I swear] [instrumental break] I have a general disregard for walls even if they're over a hundred feet tall 'cause why would I climb them? it would be so painful if I were to fall when I could just walk through those walls as if they're not there at all [chorus] I'm easy-goin', and I'll go anywhere Sun, rain, or snowin' - well I don't care I'm easily amused, at every turn I like to be confused, 'cause then I learn [scat solo] I have a general disregard for closure so it's hard to tell when my songs are over...
Priorities 03:08
I'm sitting at my desk, looking at my computer screen and I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be doing something ...I can't focus - I'm not getting very far I think I'm just gonna go play my guitar Like ohhh... Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I don't know what to say Like it, I've been reflecting: there's only so many hours in a day! They can't all be productive - I would probably go insane I just need some time to unwind my brain Like ohhh... [sax solo!] Sometimes, I lay on my back, and I look up to the sky Well more ofttimes the ceiling, 'cause I spend so much time inside I got so many priorities, that I don't know where to start ...but some, I'm not so sure of these, so I'd better ask my heart Like ohhh...
Chorus: under the hemlocks — the most beautiful place I've been under the hemlocks every year we promise that we're never going to leave I can trace my roots back to the cookies and the juice and even if we don't know each others last names I'm sure our grandparents do and as much as I mind our tearful goodbyes it was worth it to say hello to you Chorus — I grew to a tree from a tiny seed people and trees you know well we always change and grow 'tho it's so gradual we sometimes forget and expect it all to stay the same (but this) forest is a place where you don't need personal space and no matter who you ('ve become / are) you aren't made strange Chorus — we are always so naive where love is as easy to find as a needle, on the ground where all are lost and found and every direction is homeward bound We'd love to stay here all year long and sing our favorite songs knowing we belong under the hemlocks Chorus — knowing how it feels to be free on the very last day we'll probably be late because we set the clock back 8 whole minutes and hoped noone would mind if we had a say I know that we would stay with all of our branches intertwined Chorus — room enough for you and me Chorus — the most beautiful place I've seen I don't think I ever want to leave in my heart I know I'll never leave


My first album! Featuring some songs that are several years old and others that were written during the recording process.

Also available on iTunes, but it's cheaper here and I get paid just as much!


released November 16, 2012

Album recorded & mixed at Brixton Music Inc. in Kitchener, Ontario.
Mastered at Ursa Major Sound in Lynn Haven, Florida.
All sounds made by Maleidoscope except the female vocals (tracks 2,3,11) by Shannon Campbell and the drums on track 9 by Christian Reichard.
All tracks self-produced except track 9 produced by Nick Iden.


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Maleidoscope Waterloo, Ontario

Upbeat singer-songwriter and jack-of-all-trades musician. Lyricist first, then orchestrator.

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